Gorbenko the Movie

Valencia, Gorbenko Style!!

HELO! I am back from GREAT event Campus Party 2007 in Valencia with PHOTOS and stories!

Valencia is found in SPACE, so we had to rocket like GAGARIN to come there! Here you can see my photo from rocket! I am now KOSMONAUT!!

Here is my hotel. I got sand in underpants

Personal valet try to steal shoes and pants from me! I told him NO and he went off

Valencia is very PRETTY and old, but also Spanish!

Sometime fight BULLS in great round building with windows (too many if you ask me).

Here is where I worked. People goes here ALL week to live in tent and play computer!? Personally, I have big computer enough to sleep in, so I would need no tent.

Some people founded World in Conflict on computers and were happy.. there was also tournament!

They plays all day long and night!

Very high buildings in Valencia as well as not finished buildings!

People try avoid BIG SCARY PURPLE THING in middle of way by driving around it!

Bear, maybe dead, lying next to pool? Could use cleaners to pick it up! I lost apetit.

They also leave puzzles on street for people to solve. I could not find last sky piece and then make leave for bar and vodka

Spanish military build castle against Soviet invaders! But we have anti-can-cannons!!

World in Conflict on main stage arena!

WHAT!! GIRLS PLAY VIDEO GAME??

OMG

Winnars of FINAL against Massive! Congrats everybody! Here are your empty boxes of nothing

Dignitas WIN!

Many things can be said about Dignitas! Here are only handful facts:

- They practice 18 hours per day
- They sometime crossplay(!) as character from Sailor Moon
- They like cooking and boxing, often at SAME TIME (???)
- They have trained with MONKS from Tibet!!
- They won E-Sports Team of the Year!!

You can read all about it at Team Dignitas, and you can also see PROOF here!

Aliens in WIC!!

I am not CRAZY!! I saw aliens in WIC and no one will believe me! BUT! As great INVESTIGATER I have photo proof of this! LOOK!

Now you MUST believe! I will look into this and write MORE in future…

Something about GREG

I found photo of GREG Goodric, Producer at Sierra!

I also found strange thing in USA Today that I want share

M seeks F, 18-64, for possible friendship-and maybe something more serious. This ragged, friendly and pleasant Producer likes making silly faces, playing with toy tanks and writing promiscous e-mails. I can also talk really fast backwards! Seeking blonde, busty companion who is quiet, uneducated and easy on the eyes.

No idea if related! But maybe..

UPDATE:

It seems that we sometimes get STRANGE e-mails from Greg…

Hello! I am tired this evening. I am nice girl that would like to chat with you. Email me at [censored] only. I want to show you some pictures.

What.

Crappy player? Team Dignitas will HELP!

I notice many of you testers not very good at game during test! Some of you have no clue what it means to play roles and there is hardly ever teamwork! This will not do. Some of the best things in WORLD have based around TEAMWORK! Soviet Union was basicly one giant team of several million players! We would have ROCKED in WiC (and not only because we several million!). Here come rescue.

Team Dignitas is greatest WIC CLAN in world at the moment. Not ONLY do they all look like Manowar…

But they also VERY good at informing stupid people! Here you will see super tips, like this:

If your enemy sees you in one place for too long then you can expect the air-to-air tactical aid strike to be used against you. This can destroy your helicopters in the blink of an eye, so you must keep moving your units as much as possible.

My medium helicopters can be effective Vs medium tanks but the longer I stay on one spot the easier I become to target. With a simple movement that still allows me to fire on enemy units, I can become almost impossible for them to accurately target.

If I see mistakes made ANYWAY I will personally call Dignitas and make sure they come to your house, covered in oil, ready to wrestle you DOWN!

Gorbenko’s GREAT enemies!

It is confession time. There are only TWO things that Gorbenko fears, and two things ONLY. They are not gigantic robot ASTEROIDS shooting up in kitchen sink. I have taken pictures to show you:

First is:

Martin Walfisz
- CEO and Founder of company
- Super athlete with SUPERPOWERS
- Laser gun arm

I try to stay out of his way as much as possible, but sometimes I can feel him looking at me from behind, and I have to pretend to work and have good times. He does not now my true name but I think he seen some of me on cameras in roof. In worst case, we must get rid of him.

Shoemonster
- Eater of shoe
- Monster
- Scary

At least on TWO occasion he has eaten shoes from me, almost chewing ENTIRE foot!! I run whenever I see it

That is all for this. Be AFRAID!

GORBENKO plays beta! COME SEE!

Today I made group to play (thank you [pulse]shtyvok and Wrath for GREAT times!) and kicked AMERICAN ASS all back to east coast! We played hard and won sometimes and lose sometimes. Such is life, like sometimes you have candy and sometimes only can chew on small piece of wood or maybe pebbles! Here is my story!

I ask in channel for special peoples to play with! TWO were smart, rest were Germans maybe? (language problems I think.. they don’t understand). We chatted a bit and then democratically (pah) decided that I would be LEADER and ROLE MODEL!

As usual I hide in woods. I am GREAT at hiding in wood even IRL, as some friends of mine will let you know! One time they search for me for MANY HOURS in wood while I was at home grinding great skills! They were bit angry and cold…

But no one comes! War is BORING when there is nothing to shoot at So, I decide to have ADVENTURE

I take a house! Very nice house with windows and probably even armchairs and stuff! My soldiers have GREAT time and maybe watch TV as tanks come

Then there is smoking hole where tank stood

They try AVENGE tank by gas bombing my poor soldiers!

But they GREAT RUNNERS and run away from smoke! Smoke not so fast

Someone nuke the place and Americans cry

Another tank…

go BOOOOOOM!!

Soviet win VERY MUCH!! I get many points!

THEN COME ROUND 2!

This round not so fun so I will only show highlights!

Bridge is nice and everything, like, and tanks and stuff hang out… maybe talk about cookies or women or something… but wait…

Boom! No one expects GORBENKO BOMB!!

Bridge can also have taste of that!

BOOOOOOM!!

But still lose

The HERO and the PIG

GREAT NEWS! I played WiC beta last night and kicked ass! For those who saw me, hello again. For those I killed, lots of love! From RUSSIA with love! My nick is Gorbenko so you may challenge me if you can find me!!

And here is hero

And pig

Or other way round? Anyways, Swedish restaurants like to have PIGS in strange locations! I sat on pig and ate my lunch but was kicked out by owner saying “this pig is HOLY!!” or something, I don’t understand Swedish that well…

Other picture of Art Director Pär Green who pose like SUPERMAN on bad hair day! There is no bravery in Massive and if explosion would happen, everyone would cry and some would pee (this I know for FACT!)

See you all on Massgate!

BETA GOES LIVE!!

w00t w00t! Bu still nobody in my chat channel

Come join the fun at http://beta.massgate.net! And look forward to playing against ME!