Activision to sell Massive?

Hello friends! Now that summer is almost over and work has once again begins it is time to do proper spy work, and OH DO I HAVE STORY! Recent discovery of Activision Blizzard merger has a strange side to it, and I think that there is something going on in Massive office. Having read through document and emails I have a good reason to think Activision is going to sell Massive! That’s right!

Now we may wonder why this is! My first reaction was that they were discovering my work in the company, and that they think it was security hazard! But not so! I still haven’t found out, because there are many conflicting reports (some reports claim it’s because the Swedes eat too much ham).

But this is not very interesting. The thing I AM concerned about is WHO WILL BUY MASSIVE? I have great hopes that we will finally become a complete Russian company. That would be wonderful! I think there are plenty of rich oil baron Russian guys who could afford it! So here is an open letter to all Russian billionaire (in English, for your sake):

Hello dear billionaire!

My name is Dimtri Gorbenko and I am Russian.

I think you should buy Massive.

If you do, I will see to it that staff will be very obedient.

And also, you can marry any of my sisters!

Here is picture of family (sisters with long hair, mother is upper left)

Thank you!